... ALWAYS REMEMBER NEVER TO FORGET (FRANCE)


June, 2000

As I reminisce about our earlier times together,

it is mid '90's and I was working in France at an art centre as a nurse on staff. Gerald and I had started a 'special' friendship. The villa was high atop a terraced village just below the castle, in the Auvergne, where they say rush hour is the clanging of cow bells....I missed him incredibly but always looked forward to his very creative and passionate letters from home. He was a creative writer, as well as a visual artist. I recently found an assortment of letters from him that I had packed away years ago when I became busy with his health care.

We used to have lunch occasionally in some downstairs Chinese restaurant in Toronto. His letter alludes to going there without me, but he wasn't able to get in due to a movie shoot taking over. His letter is about missing me and missing us.....and I sure did miss him, as much as I was having a new adventure in France meeting many new and varied people ...it was still him I wanted to be with. In it he reminds me of his longing and desire and how the “misses are getting BIGGER AND BIGGER”. His stick men are doing somersaults, they are so full of joy. And in it also is a very humorous 'memo', with caricature of him reminding us “always remember the big stuff” and “always remember never to forget” and “never forget to remember”.....
So here it is... 










































Years later, when Julian was seventeen, he was awarded a year in France with the Rotary Club. We missed him so much when he left our home for the year, but knew that this would be an incredible year of experience for him, and a year to improve his French, so were extremely excited for him. He met up with his brothers in France and he made some wonderful lifelong friends.

We decided to visit him in France at the end of his school term and have a vacation together. So, now that I am reading these notes from Gerry,

I become nostalgic and look over the French journal that I wrote in that year long ago...but it still resonates.

I feel such longing for the missing him, yet I get such joy from the fun and the memories.... 






MORE THAN JUST A VACATION


After a year of great anticipation, the day has finally come. I'm off on more than just a vacation. I'm off to visit my 18 year old son, Julian, who has been living in France, in the Loire Valley, as an exchange student for the past year. We'll be meeting his

wonderful host family and the many exciting and interesting friends, both French and foreign, whom he has acquired during this year.

With me is my new (of 4 years - we still think of ourselves as newlyweds) and gem (as in precious) of a husband, Gerald. His sense of humour keeps me laughing. Gerald, even though he has a passion for travelling in North America, is too looking forward to this European trip.
He has always been extremely fond of Julian. Actually, the bonding between Gerald and Julian began when Julian was just a newborn. This was the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship.

Tues. June 6

So, it is early evening and we're off to the Toronto International Airport. Once checked in, we stroll the airport bookstores, impatiently awaiting boarding time. Gerald accidentally and literally 'bumps' into someone as his head is turned -- peering at a young, tanned, shapely, blond, mother of three, dressed in tight eggshell-coloured capri pants with bright tangerine coloured jacket, sandals and nail polish. “Great colour” he says, “great colour”--

oh yeh -- the artist in him!!! He is, as many say, one of Canada's great colourists. I've learned to live with it -- joyfully.

After some waiting, we finally board. We take off. Climbing above the clouds, sun peeping through, Gerald makes his 26 (?!?!) comment about the rattling noises he hears. He's afraid of potential dangers of flying. At home I never see him anxious, but when on a plane, his level of anxiety reaches new heights -- when he hears the mechanical noises of the plane -- loose nuts and bolts?!? He is an expert motorcyclist and therefore knows the sounds of mechanical problems. In order to have his motorcycle running topnotch, he must have it finely tuned. So he is very familiar with the sounds of even the slightest of mechanical problems -- and unfortunately, he carries this knowledge onto the plane.

He tries to compensate -- he says “this plane is REALLY strong”.

I tell him “One more comment from you about the plane -- and I change seats!” Silence finally. When I fly with him I too am anxious about plane crashes -- when I fly alone my only anxiety is “will my luggage arrive?” (our flying anxieties were different before 'The Towers') Finally reading and silence. Good. Takes his mind off the sounds of the 'loose nuts and bolts' of the plane. Dinner comes - steak and noodles. Gerald does not eat red meat so I eat his steak. He eats my noodles. He leans over and whispers in my ear “Don't eat too much red meat - not good for the system!”

I think next time I'll travel on a separate plane. Scrunched in our seats, we snoozed on and off throughout the night. The baby in the seat next to us was quiet. She slept the whole time in her mother's arms. Finally lights on -- approaching Europe. Little baby Clara finally awakens -- as her mom hands her over to us while she goes to freshen up -- to the 'toilette'. Baby Clara just filled her diaper -- I held her and said affectionately “ you poopey girl”. She smiled.
Finally, we see French soil from the plane window. Gearing down. Spirits up. Excitement! We land. We walk down the stairs of the plane. We touch French soil together as we step off the last stair. We kiss.
Our first real French kiss! 

We taxi to our hotel. It is a grey morning. Will the sun come out? “Ah non, mais peut-être” -- maybe -- says the cab driver. It has been raining for days -- calls for more rain. After driving through a very run down part of Paris we arrive at our small, family- operated hotel. It was recommended to us by the young daughter of a friend. We chose it because it was very inexpensive. Gerald says “Worse hotel I've ever been in” -- maybe so -- but “no bugs” -- I say.

We meet the owners -- a charming young couple with a shy three year old son, Jean Luc. “Bonjour”, I say. My first French word, so far. The young mother coaxes Jean Luc to greet us. A shy and quiet “Bonjour, madame”. My greeting must attract him, for now he yearns to touch me. He pretends to touch my arm by accident. Then he crawls under the reception desk and gently touches my sandaled toes. By accident?! Papa takes us to our room -- still no bugs -- but Gerald says “don't look too hard”.

The baseboards are rotting.

It is noon. We are to meet Julian here early afternoon. I can barely stand the wait! He is taking the 9 a.m. train in from Nantes where he has spent this past year with his wonderful host family -- the family from paradise.
We wait, we snooze -- we wait -- we snooze. Finally, I pace the floors -- it's mid -afternoon. Julian has not arrived. Gerald takes me across the road to a little café to keep me occupied.
Where is Julian? Every parent's nightmare -- Is he okay? We wait some more. Maybe I should call his host parents.. Gerald says, “Don't worry, he's a kid -- he's always been so responsible. He'll be here soon”. I try to wait patiently! It's grey and chilly.
Finally, at 3 p.m. our hotel door flings open. “Hi MA, Hi GER.” Hugs, kisses, tears. I haven't seen him for almost a year. “Where were you? I was so worried” I stutter. “Oh ma -- I got the 11 o'clock train instead -- I slept in!” Gerald apologizes about the hotel. 


Julian has already been to Paris several times this year. “Ah, it's okay” he says -- “You're having a Parisian experience.”

Looking out the hotel window, the sun is out! And the view is grand! So Parisian! Ceiling to floor length French doors opening up to a bustling café-lined street. We all love it!

The sun has been shining brilliantly here in Paris for 2 days now -- and it's hot. I love it hot! I love the whirlwind in Paris.
We take in a few galleries. We enjoy Gerald's knowledgeable comments on the Picassos, the Monets, the Renoirs ... We walk and we walk.

I love walking in Paris with Gerald and Julian -- along the old narrow streets, along the wide chaotic fashionable Champs

d’ Elysée, along the peaceful River Seine. For Gerald, it stirred

up sad memories of the 2nd World War - of the long distant Vichy regime and of Hitler's triumphant march under the Arc de Triomphe. Twinges of horror! How could artists survive in that atmosphere? How did we all survive? But back to the present. The only care we must now take is to avoid stepping in dog pooh -- which is plentiful on the streets of Paris. Julian used to write disgusting comments about this. I thought he was exaggerating. He wasn't!

We take one metro after the other. Julian is fluent in French now and is able to find his way around quite easily. I say, after taking a maze of metros, 'I feel like I'm living underground'.

Thurs. June 8

Our last evening in Paris. Julian meets Mark, a friend from Nantes. After dinner, Julian and Mark run off to a Pearl Jam rock concert. As they are leaving we're shouting “Remember to follow the rules!” “Yeh, Yeh!”

They are good kids -- I think they will. 

Gerald and I strolled after dinner and stopped to have a café noir in an outdoor café. To our disgust, as we were chatting and sipping, a woman walking her dog allows the dog to stop right in front of the café to do its very smelly business. With no seeming embarrassment, she then saunters off with her dog. Ah -- it's June in gay Par-ee!

Fri. June 9

One quick visit this morning to Le Cimetière du Père-Lachaise -- the largest and oldest burial ground in Paris. The brochure says it is more than a cemetery. It is a splendid picturesque garden with a varied collection of architecture -- a truly unusual place -- with it's paths and side paths forming a maze to stroll through. We saw the final resting places of Seurat, Chopin, Moliere, Max Ernst, Oscar Wilde with its many lipstick kisses from fans, and Jim Morrison of ' the Doors'.

A little drama on the way back from Le Cimetière - on the metro floor is a man lying down -- we must step over him. Thinking he may be dead, we call for help. Next metro stop 'les gendarmes' enter -- the police. They feel his chest -- movement -- “ah, il respire” they say -- “he is breathing” -- just drunk -- reeks of liquor. They will remove him at the last stop. Ambulance will be waiting, they say.

Back to our hotel to finish packing our bags and ourselves into our very smooth VW rental car. Good-bye to Paris.
And I escaped Paris without stepping in a drop of Parisian dog pooh!
It's midday –Now on the road to Nantes -- to see the city where Julian has spent the past year as an exchange student -- and to meet his host family and many friends. Julian sitting in the front seat with Gerald, navigating -- me sitting in the back with Julian's friend Mark. I suddenly feel very nauseated -- car sick -- as I have been prone to since childhood. “STOP”, I plead, “I'm going to be sick!” Within a short distance Gerald finds ‘une aire de repos’ -- a stopping area. He quickly pulls in and parks by a large lawned area. 

He opens the door for me -- I flop myself down on the lawn -- flat on my stomach. Within seconds Julian approaches shouting – “MOM, you are lying in a patch of dried dogshit !”
I didn't escape it after all!
Feeling somewhat better, I take half a gravol to calm my nausea. Back in the car for another 200 km. Approaching Nantes I have an incredible urge to pee. And urgent it is. I had been trying to hold it. “STOP”, I plead again. “I have to pee.” “I HAVE TO PEE
NOW.” Menopause (and age) has caused this urgency!
Gerald again soon finds a station -- but not soon enough. I run into the station straight to the ‘toilette’. With only a short line up I thought I could hold it -- with legs crossed tightly. The door knob turns, out walks a lady -- it's my turn. Just as I am ready to enter the stall, the janitor slides in ahead of me -- time to wash the toilettes. HORROR! I feel drips of wet down my leg, now a little riverlet -- I think I wet my jeans!
Humiliated I walk out -- I confess to Gerald what happened but he assures me he is unable to see any tale tell signs on my jeans.

Back in the car for the last few kms to Nantes and meeting Hervé and Frances, Julian's host parents. I begin to smell the foul smell of old urine I often smelled as a nurse visiting the elderly -- hoping I would never be in that situation . Now what humiliation --

that smell -- and meeting my son's host family in just a few moments for the first time -- nowhere to change. Ah -- luck -- they are not home when we arrive. I quickly bathe, powder, change -- just as they arrive home -- I'm smelling like a sweet rose! And a lovely meeting -- special feelings -- I'm so thankful to meet the parents who took such good care of my son. 




They are most welcoming and charming. They invite us on their boat. They are very skilled sailors. Their life is sailing. Many years ago they built a sailboat and sailed across the Atlantic for twelve days from France to the Caribbean with their two toddlers.
That evening we are invited by them to go to a most spectacular outdoor event in a local village -- le Puy de Fou , a magnificent festival of light and grandeur on ten hectares of open theatre stage commemorating the history of the area.


Sat. June 10


For the first three months of his stay in France, Julian lived with another family in the Loire Valley near Nantes -- in a village named St. Sebastian sur Loire -- with Patrice and Annie and their two daughters Isabelle and Lucie. They also wanted to meet us and invited us for lunch. And an elegant one it was. Annie had the indoor garden sunroom set up for lunch. They apologized -- for the weather. Said they wanted to have an outdoor garden lunch but the weather had been risky -- rainy and damp in Nantes.

As they are explaining this, the sun suddenly peeps through the dense clouds. Shall we move outdoors? Too risky -- it has been raining for weeks, for months, they say. After champagne and a delicious lingering gourmet lunch, the sun is shining brightly through the glass sunroom. No hesitation -- we move outdoors for dessert and un petit café. We need a sun umbrella. Patrice positions it perfectly over us. After lunch we stroll the perfect French garden -- in the sunshine. Isabelle comments that her fiancé has a saying that the weather changes for angels. Coincidence!
Another lunch invitation -- this time not elegant -- but with much class and much sorrow -- to a small apartment in a highrise in a rundown area of Nantes. Julian's friend from school, Leonis, and his mom are Kosovan refugees living in France for the past year after leaving war-torn Kosovo. Leonis' father, recently returned to Kosovo, held a high position at the University, and his mother, Helena, was a teacher of English before the war began. Then war. All was lost -- jobs, home, possessions. Family scattered. Life was suddenly taken away. France accepted them as refugees.
Leonis guides us as we drive through the streets of Nantes over the bridge of the Loire and to the outskirts -- the obviously poorer district. We enter his apartment building and into the elevator -- with much garbage strewn all over. Leonis, full of embarrassment, apologizes. “The elevators are not cleaned on weekends”, he tells us, as he picks up some of the garbage from the floor of the elevator. Up to the tenth floor where his mother is anxiously awaiting our arrival. A most sumptuous aroma of eastern spices and freshly baked bread emanate from her apartment, which is sparsely furnished with only a small table and odd chairs in the dining room and an old sofa and coffee table in the small living room. Nothing else -- but a child's drawing taped to the dining room walls -- from a friend's child -- for Helena's recent birthday. She apologizes. Not enough room to sit. Not enough cutlery. We bring her a flowering plant to brighten up her room and a fine handmade wooden bread board which she proudly displays. I could sense her soul filled with strength and pride and her eyes filled with overwhelming pain. She brought out her only bottle of wine for us -- it was waiting for a special occasion – and with a toast she welcomes us and thanks Julian for being her son's friend and helping him through some difficult days this year. He has lost all his friends in Kosovo -- they are not able to contact anyone. Some people have scattered. Many people were killed. Leonis' hands shake as he pours us wine. Leonis wants to change schools next year - - most of the friends he met this year will be gone and he feels distant from the other French students. They are all quite wealthy and he does not feel welcomed into their circle. He feels embarrassed by his meager wardrobe and his 'home'. However, he is lost in bureaucracy. The school won't give him the necessary papers to move. We wish him luck -- and I say a little prayer for him and his mom. 

After a wonderful but heart - wrenching visit and a most delicious lunch with the best homemade bread I have ever eaten -- a special eastern recipe -- it is time to say goodbye. Julian's last goodbye to Leonis -- we are leaving Nantes tomorrow -- after a year of Julian's e-mails to us telling us of his new found friend and his sorrowful war stories of the past few years. Today I experienced that sorrow.
They waved goodbye at the elevator. As the doors closed to their waving hands, I sobbed and sobbed. Gerald's strong and tender arms wrap tightly around me. “A mother's pain”, he whispers. And Julian's young and tender soul tries to console, “It's okay mom, Helena's made many new friends here. She's not too lonely”. But what does one do with life when life has been taken away!
Now a walk through a magnificent park in the sunlight -- Le Jardin des Plantes -- to lighten the heaviness of the past few hours. We stroll arm-in-arm pondering life, through a maze full of pathways amongst sweet smelling blossoms and waterfalls and ponds and colourful acanthes and giant sequoias. And old couples with stern looking faces sitting on benches and children running through the park, laughing playfully, enjoying life.

We arrive back home at seven, to our home in Nantes, to Julian's host family. Exhausted physically and emotionally, we flop into bed for a ten minute power nap. Before helping Julian pack his year's clothing to send back to Canada tomorrow, I decide to don my jogging clothes and off for a short run -- to try to burn off a few of the many calories I've eaten since arriving in France -- through the local park. Nantes is lush -- it rains a lot -- but the sun is shining now -- and it's hot! In the park I see lovers strolling, mothers hugging babies, fathers playing soccer with their young sons, children riding the little carousel, screams of laughter, more fountains, more ponds, more mazes of pathways, giant delphinium, giant white lilies, -- but no one jogging -- only me -- no one

jogs here -- they look at me like I'm from another planet. Maybe!


Late afternoon, back home again, to Julian's host family, trying to help Julian organize his packing -- a few things in his backpack as he will be travelling for two months, through Italy, Hungary, Bulgaria, Romania and then to Bosnia (to visit his brother

Jonathan, my older son). The rest stuffed into his suitcases -

clothes, shoes, books, CD's, typewriter (can't do without, he's a writer and likes the feeling of writing on a typewriter), books, winter coats, small speakers, more books, gifts from friends. We are all in awe. Where will we fit it all? We have only two suitcases. Gerald asks, “Julian can you sell or give away half of these items?” “I already have”, he replies. “These are my necessities.” As we keep working at it, Julian reminds us he must leave for the evening - - off to meet friends he met this year from all around the world -- to say his last good-byes. We are all leaving Nantes tomorrow. Will

he ever see them again? When we used to go to Jamaica for the winters when he was a young child, his Jamaican friends would say “Cool runnins Julian”. He would say “Sad runnins” when he was leaving to return home after the winter living in the Jamaican hills with them. Now my heart thinks, “sad runnins” -- they have become such good friends. Hope they do meet again someday.

Mon. June 12

Monday morning, our last day in Nantes, another sunny day! Must finish packing, do a small wash and off to visit more of Julian's friends and their families -- Olivier's for lunch (Olivier will be in Canada living with us for three weeks in July -- improving his English) then off to Sylvain's family for 'a drink' at five, (Sylvain is a vibrant 18 year old who was an exchange student in our town last year. We called him our 'adopted son' as he ended up at our place half the time -- and we loved his vibrant personality). Then a drive down the West coast of France to a tiny hamlet south of Niort to visit our gracious friends who have purchased acres of ruins and restored them as the most charming living quarters. Paolo is an artist whose soul is ART, as is Gerald's. They understand and appreciate each other's psyche, even though Paolo's psyche is totally 14 century European, and Gerald's is totally 20 century North American.

Wanting to bring flowers to Olivier's parents, but today is a holiday, Pentecost, no stores open, so we arrive for lunch empty-handed. They understand. Most elegant family -- living in a huge, palatial flat, with chandeliers, grand pianos, large French doors leading to the garden balcony overlooking the 'King's Garden'. They have a son and a daughter attending the Sorbonne -- Yann, a gifted pianist and Catrine -- and then Olivier, finishing high school -- where he and Julian met. We have a five course lunch in the elegant dining room. This begins with fine champagne and a toast, then a special Bordeau wine for each course - the best we've ever tasted. Then cognac on the garden balcony and the softest of classical music from Yann at the grand piano. We have been transported into old world elegance.
Back to Julian's host family -- and our last goodbyes, photo taking, invitations to visit again, hugs, kisses and tears. Frances, Julian's host mom, Gerald says “is a peach and an angel” -- I agree. We love her. Julian, with the emotional strength of a male 18 year old - - has no tears, but a sorrowful heart. “I can't believe I'm leaving Nantes for good -- after a whole year”, he laments. It's 5 p.m. -- off to Sylvain's for a drink to meet his family, to observe his father's art. He is a graphic artist -- the best -- says Gerald after observing Yves portfolio. It is all breathtaking - a genius and gifted. His mother -- most charming and reserved.
As we leave in the early evening, they all pile into their car to show us the way to the autoroute to Niort -- and we follow in our car. They leave us off at the round-about -- waving through their car's open windows -- Julian's one last goodbye to Nantes and good friends. My heart weeps for him. Sad runnins. A last goodbye wave to Sylvain.

But new adventures ahead -- off to La Grève, a small hamlet on the south-west coast to visit friends from years gone by. We make very good time on the autoroute until we hit Niort -- then over an hour to go only 3 km -- stop and go, more stop than go! The French drivers jump out of their cars at each little stop -- greet each other, reach into their trunks for baguettes, cheese, wine -- no frustrations for them felt with hold up in traffic -- just another little adventure. After far too many hours on the road -- we are finally lost on the side roads -- only minutes away from our friends-- and they will come to meet us. We arrive at 10 p.m. -- but dinner is waiting -- meat, roast potatoes, salad, green beans, fromages, bread, wine -- excellent and very warm greetings. We haven't seen each other for five years.


Tues. June 13


Next morning we awaken in a primitive paradise! Paolo and Ester had purchased many ruins in this tiny hamlet and have restored them maintaining the primitive old world charm. Such artistic touches everywhere your eyes glance. Crème-fraîche coloured stone walls throughout the house, with fine pieces of linen draped over the windows. Julian says this paradise should be photographed for a fine living magazine. I feel like I am transported back 100 years in time -- with only the sounds of the birds and the rustling of trees -- mixture of cypresses, palms, banana, bamboo -- and gently rolling hills -- with L'église, the church, standing alone atop a tiny hill, its red clay roof shining like a jewel amidst fields of poppies and sunflowers, surrounded by the local cemetery, each grave adorned with plastic and glass flowers, and plaques -- ma mére, ma tante, mon ami -- my mother, my aunt, my friend. We walk along the narrow roads and paths to the church -- there is a feeling of loneliness and beauty and a brilliance in the air. It is hot and bright. It is poetry here.

The light in Charentes - Maritime is so brilliant, a bright light, not the golden light of the hills of Tuscany or of Provence, but a bright light. One we have never before seen. We are very close to the coast of the Atlantic, 40 km inland. Paolo explains this brilliance.


It is not only the reflection of the light bouncing off the Atlantic, but also, since they 'mine' salt on the coast, it is the reflection of the 'fleurs de sel'. They allow salt water from the Atlantic to come ashore into little 'ponds', and when the water evaporates in the heat of the sun, the salt remains. There is a top layer of fine salt dust, and below is the sea salt. It is this fine layer of salt dust 'fleurs de sel', in the air Paolo explains, that reflects the light and emits this brilliance. Back down the paths and home for lunch -- not our American lunch -- but a table full of cheese, patés, wine, baguettes and patisserie. Then Julian renews acquaintance with Flavian -- an 18 year old -- a neighbour down the road whom he met many years ago -- the last time he was here -- when they were both just youngsters fishing in the local river, la rivière Boutonne -- catching fish and a viper. Flavian remembers and they make arrangements to go partying this evening into another village with friends. No need for us to drive them. Flavian will take Julian on his 'motoscooter'. The afternoon heat is exhausting, for all, but me -- we all have a short siesta -- then Gerald and Julian off in the car, windows rolled down, wind in their faces, exploring lonely back roads. Actually there are no main roads here. They love this, memories of motorcycling, a passion of theirs, curving around fields of wheat and new baby cornfields. Moi, I lie out on the chaise lounge that Ester has put out for us, in 'le jardin' basking in the sun, surrounded by eucalyptus, vegetable gardens and the sweet aroma of herbs and I write. My passion. In my journal -- a beautiful book given to me as a 'bon voyage' gift from my good friend, Rayella. About my travels and thoughts. Paolo returns from setting up his art exhibit in the next town. He brings Ester and me some warm herbal tea -- herbs 'au jardin' -- from the garden. “Take care. It is very hot out”, he says. I remember being in Africa, in Kenya and Tanzania, thirty- two years ago, visiting friends from Canada who were teaching there. We were having a mini vacation on the coast, on the Indian Ocean, a small resort town, Melindi, near the equator. Hot!


Everyone said, “stay out of the sun, too hot!” I was in the sun -- loved it -- did not even burn -- I must be some distant relative of the Sun Gods! Julian and Gerald return. A gentle kiss on the cheek from Gerald and off to the indoors (too hot outdoors for his Russian blood) where the huge stone walls of these restored ruins keep the house cool. Julian comments in a quiet tone full of awe, “Mom, how can you stand it out here? I can't breathe!” The heat is stifling for him, also. Where is his Mediterranean blood, his ancestry, from my family? Again in awe -- “The only way I can stay out here is with a pool to jump into!” he says. I understand. I, too, like to jump into pools. I remind him -- I have one at home -- a baby pool, three feet across, one foot deep -- that I do sit in at times. Me and the dog. When it is too hot for our charming boxer, Ali. Early evening, still bright -- it stays light here until 11 p.m. -- we are off to Aulnay de Saintonge with Paolo -- to visit a beautiful but simple Romanesque church of the eleventh century. It was a stopping off place for the pilgrims heading down to Santiago de Compostela in Northern Spain. Magnificent -- the intricate sculptures on the arches of doorways and the simplicity of the stone arches throughout the church indicative of Romanesque architecture. My favourite, although I appreciate the genius and intensity of Gothic design, as in the Cathedral of Chartres, where Julian and I visited six years ago when he was touring the main cathedrals of France on a concert tour as a member of our local children's choir.
Many cypress trees in front of the church, which usually stretch straight up to the sky, now bend towards the east permanently, since the 'Tempest' - the worst storm of France's west coast, last winter. Our friend Paolo says the 'Tempest' was so bad in his area that he lay on the floor in his living room for six hours- the only safe place, watching whole trees fly by his window. Much of his beautiful garden was uprooted -- but otherwise he was fine. However, six people from his area died in this storm. He was fortunate! “The will of the Tempest is stronger than us all”, he says.

There is an 'Office du Tourisme' across from the church. Last year, Paolo had a very successful art exhibit there. He tells us with his good but not so perfect English, “ Last year, I exposed myself there”. We laugh -- not at him -- and explain to him what this means. We all laugh. He's a good sport!
Home late, our hosts, tired, are off to bed early. But first offers of drinks, wine and Pineau de Charente. Pineau, a delicate liqueur of the area -- discovered 500 years ago by a wine maker who accidentally threw some slightly fermented grape juice into a barrel which had a little cognac on the bottom. Pineau -- wine and cognac kept in oak barrels for three years, at least. Then allowed to be called Pineau. Gerald and Julian and I decide to walk through the local hamlets -- it's 10 p.m. and just starting to get dark -- but a full moon brightening a darkening sky encourages us. We walk, arm-in- arm, hand-in-hand, laughing, joking, observing the gardens, breathing in its ancient history. A family again. I've missed that incredibly in the past year with Julian being away.
The past year -- my first in 33 years without any children at home. My two older sons are living afar. My eldest Jason and his American wife, Jennifer, -- in San Francisco, and my second, Jonathan – having graduated in law, specializing in post war conflict, has taken a position working in post war Bosnia. I will visit him in Bosnia next week. Can't wait. Haven't seen them all in a long time.


Wed. June 14


Early morning, we open our shutters. Ah! The air is fresh and a little misty. The birds are chirping loudly. We awaken to the aroma of freshly ground, freshly brewed coffee. A 'petit déjeuner' à la continental --coffee, freshly baked croissants and homemade strawberry confiture. The mist burns off. Another hot, bright, sunny day. Gerald, Julian and I decide to journey to Il de Re -- a short one hour drive to the coast. “The new Côte d'Azur”, Paolo assures us.

The stars and princes now vacation there and the 'nouveau riche'. Not our kind of place then. We like to be away from the crowds. However, it is still early June and not quite the busy-ness of July and August. So we go. The first magnificent view to the island -- over the Pont d'Il de Re -- the long, slender two km sloping bridge that joins the mainland to the island. “So French”, says Gerald -- who loves their sleek design. Magnificent views, magnificent ocean -- soft, beautiful pastels are the colour of the low buildings. A beautiful harbour, perfect scale. We have a long, leisurely lunch slurping oysters de Re, large delicious raw oysters with lemon. Julian's first. 'I won't eat any living thing' he says. A self proclaimed vegetarian years ago, at the tender age of two -- when he would look at the meat on his plate and mutter “what animal is that?” We would reply “Meat, just meat -- eat it”. It was always left on his plate, after many demands for “more salad, more garlic, more avocado, more vegetables!” Now he slurps down his oyster -- “m-m-m -- it's good!” But no thanks to Gerald's offering of a second.
Home bound again to Paolo's a few hours later, Julian, typical of his age – “I'm hungry.” Not wanting to bother our hosts -- we stop at a small pizza truck in a tiny village run by an elderly couple. After ordering ‘trois fromages avec des herbes de Provence’, we are tasting the best thin crusted freshly baked pizza that ever crossed our palate. Minutes later we still have a slight taste of the best chèvre -- goat cheese -- and herbs in our mouths.

Thurs. June 15

Off to Saintes -- a nearby town -- 'la ville d'arte et d’histoire'. Yes, very much art and very much history, dating back to 40 B.C. – with its magnificent amphitheatre. Walking down the steps and onto the floor of the ruins and then into a cave, I imagine the lions coming out of here -- the place where I stand! I realize Canada is so young. And off to l 'Abbey -- home of the monks -- built in the 1400's – the blonde and dusty rose stone of the buildings sparkling in the brilliant sun. Sitting in the courtyard with Gerald and Julian, I see
monks in brown robes, their hands hiding up their sleeves, silently strolling by in the 14 century -- in my imagination! Home again

we pass by a village named Surgères, pronounced Sir Ger, now Gerald's new name.
Early evening, Gerald and Julian, off to a nearby café -- Paolo and I go Pineau tasting -- to the finest vineyard in Charentes. Their Pineau is not exported or sold in stores -- it is so precious, one must purchase it at the vineyard only. Sold only in the estate -- the stately maison covered with vines and geraniums. We purchase several bottles of the 'vieux' -- the 10 year old -- deep amber and full of body -- for gifts and for ourselves. Driving home, we pass by Paolo's friend's 'maison' -- the home of the doctor and his lovely wife. They are having a show of 'les anes du Poitou' -- the donkeys of Poitou - long haired donkeys raised for 'show' -- a mix of local and Spanish blood heritage. The doctor invites us into his large courtyard with his many guests for a drink -- as he rushes off in his bright yellow Porsche convertible -- perhaps on a house call!
Home now to a fine meal of local fish and whole fried potatoes, fresh salad, and the usual baguette, fromage and much wine. A quiet and poignant evening, our last in Charentes.

Friday, June 16

Off to the Auvergne today -- sad goodbyes to our wonderful friends, Paolo and Ester, -- “a la prochaine” -- until we meet again. We have a rather long unexciting drive ahead of us to Clermont - Ferrand. A few minor complaints from all of us, sore bodies, the seats of the rented Passat, designed poorly. And every so often a comment from Julian, the teenager. “I'm starving -- what's to eat?” We call him 'the Hoover King.' We are heading east -- the north/south roads in France are very good -- but the east/west are slow, back roads, through village after village -- not too pretty, and slow going -- until we hit Limoges. Limoges -- the city of porcelain.

We drive on, not intending to purchase -- but a decision to stop to view the porcelain shops, if we see an interesting one on our way through. Here is one. We stop. We enter. Stacks of porcelain dishes, casseroles, knick-knacks, piled high on the floor. A maze of porcelain to walk through. Common sense would tell us to leave -- but we don't. I ask for the 'toilette' -- a tour through the factory to reach it. Upon my return Julian recounts how Gerald almost knocked over a stack of plates -- trying to squeeze himself through the maze -- the sombre saleslady asking him to be careful. I suggest we leave -- Gerald replies -- “If I broke them, I'd buy them”, but I really don't want thousands of dollars worth of broken Limoges porcelain. We leave.
Driving off, Gerald with his ever present sense of self - deprecating humour -- calls himself “le grand boeuf” translated “the bull in the china shop.” We laugh. I add a descriptive – “le grand boeuf, charmant”, I say. He is ever so charming.
During the laughter, I recall last night's conversation with Paolo and Ester. They were describing a good route to the Auvergne - our next stop. They were informing us of the best way to ask directions if lost. They say just to mention the name of the town desired, -- with an inflection in our voice, and then a 's'il vous plait' -- please -- and an example -- if we want to go to the town of Issoire -- just say “Issoire, s'il vous plait?” Gerald, who speaks some Spanish, from his year living as an artist in Spain many years ago -- speaks no French -- other than “oui, non and merci.” ( I speak basic French. We have depended on Julian -- who is now fluent after his year in France -- to translate all.)
Anyhow, Gerald thought “Issoire, s'il vous plait?” meant “Where is it, please?” -- starts repeating -- -- “Issoire, s'il vous plait -- Where is it, please?” confusing où est-ce? -- where is it? - with Issoire -- all the s's sounding the same to him.
In our hefty laughter, we pictured him asking over and over “Issoire, s'il vous plait?” and his ending up in Issoire, forever. Oh well, not a bad place to end up.

We arrive late evening in Montaigut-le-Blanc (Mon-tay-goo) - our destination -- after driving through the vast, rolling hills of the Auvergne -- through beautiful tiny spa mountain villages with unending views. These mountains of the Auvergne -- not the jagged, rugged mountains of the Alps -- are smoother, with gentle enticing lines like the sensual lines of a woman's hips. Our friends and hosts, Paul and Babette, greet us, -- hugs, kisses -- four on the cheeks -- it is custom – a drink and off to bed. It has been a long day. Paul, an artist, and his charming wife, Babette run an art centre in this magnificent terraced village, high atop the hill, their garden full of lavender, roses, vine covered arbours, potted plants, overlooking vast miles of Auvergne landscape. The Auvergne -- the forgotten land -- very hilly, winding, blissful, empty, narrow roads, and not on the route to the south, missed by tourists. Tourists do not arrive here. The Auvergne - vast and unspoiled territory. So pastoral, where they say that rush hour is the sound of the cowbells. The Auvergne -- where every curve in the winding roads brings on another little village-- full of indescribable charm -- les vieux ponts -- ancient Roman bridges, fountains in the centre of town -- flowers abound, old churches atop hillsides -- one built in 1000 AD with skulls thrown into a covered cave, the ossuary, and an ancient mural, covering one whole wall, from the 11 century, still intact.

What a gift to be able to view this! The Auvergne -- full of unsuspected richness. Each village abounds in ancient architectural details. Someone once said, “God lives in the details”.

God is everywhere here!

Sat. June 17

Next morning we awaken to the magic singing of birds. We are so high we see them soaring below us. Coffee on the terrace, we are atop the terraced village, Montaigut, le Haute -- overlooking miles of the Auvergne with fields of wildflowers, sunflowers and poppies beginning to blossom. Sadly, Gerald leaves for home in two days. He won't see them in full bloom. But there is the sweet aroma of Linden trees which are in full bloom, everywhere. In the afternoon we picnic under the sweet aroma.

Julian and I have been here before. This is Gerald's first visit. Several years ago I worked for Paul and Babette at the art centre -- as a nurse to the elderhostel guests. Julian then met me here after his concert tour singing in the Great Cathedrals of Northern France, with the Children's choir. Grand memories and reacquainting of old, dear friends in the village for me and Julian.
We delight in showing Gerald around. He drives our rental car fast with great concentration and precision along these winding roads. He is mesmerized by the charm. He is speechless. Certainly his art back home will one day accommodate these visuals. We pass by a small hamlet, Saint Julien and I insist on a photo -- yet another -- with Julian in front of the Ancient chapel, Chapelle de Saint Julien. We see hidden cheese caves. In the countryside, strolling through sleepy sheep meadows, we pass a small hamlet, population twenty, overlooking an awesome panoramic view of the Auvergne.
Seemingly high above the earth, we hear the sounds of the Auvergne -- the gentle ringing of sheep bells. Spirituality abounds. Julian comments that this is much more beautiful than Tuscany -- but how can one compare two paradises. Perhaps he means more untouched, raw. We see Vineyards here, abandoned since the first World War -- because the men never returned, leaving only widows to tend to the homestead. We see monuments to 'Les Enfants' -- to the many very young men, eighteen years old, who never returned from the War.
A moment's silence from us. We can't imagine the pain -- but fresh flowers at this monument -- the village folk still remember. We're glad! Our souls smile in Paradise.

Sun. June 18

Short walks in the area -- and then a café in the local Bar/Tabac in Montaigut 'Le Bas' -- the lower part of the village -- where the main

garden with high stone walls of the surrounding buildings covered in vines. A secret garden -- one can't imagine it is here when walking along the street. I ask the attendant -- the bar owner if I may purchase a ‘Pastis’ glass, I collect them -- he says “si vous voulez” -- if you wish it! He gives it to me. How kind. Now back to our terrace -- shorts on -- to bask in the sun with a glass of vin rouge -- red wine -- and a large bottle of Evian -- eau Minerale naturelle -- for it is HOT! And I begin to write again. About our days in Montaigut.
Our hosts, Paul and Babette, with their cherubic 2 year old son (reminding us of the 'Angel' in Sir Joshua Reynold's Painting) ever so welcoming -- have been inviting us for breakfast, drinks, dinner. We reciprocate and invite them for dinner tonight in a local town where Marie-Françoise and her father are proprietors. Marie- Françoise is an incredible young woman, with a young son Julien. The last time I was here, years ago -- her husband and mother had just died. But a smile -- and so forgiving of fate. And her elderly father -- playing wild accordion during dinner, always. We love it. But before dinner, as Gerald and I siesta, Julian reacquaints with Nichola -- a local young man now -- whose family Julian lived with that summer, several years ago. They meet friends at the local bar for a café and then off to the lake -- for a short swim. Julian is happy. His life is rich.
Now it is early evening and we are off to the restaurant of Marie- Françoise in Champeix. I am so looking forward to meeting her again. She is radiant. She remembers me and Julian. I introduce Gerald -- “Enchanté”. She is pleased to meet him. The meal is ‘très gourmand!’ Paul recounts a sad but humorous story about a cook, Louie in a local town. He is very big and very wide -- fortyish --

and still lives with his mom. Last year he won a contest of sorts -- the prize -- a ride in the hot air balloon -- gliding over the massive countryside. However, because of his size -- the hot air balloon would not take off. He promised to come back after losing 10 kg -- he worked hard at this diet, lost the 10 kg, returned to claim his prize, but the hot air balloon would not accept him -- still too heavy -- it still would not leave the ground. He lost his prize.
After dinner we drive Julian to a local abandoned building by the town's entrance, where he meets Nichola and his friends. They have a band -- practicing reggae tonight -- sort of a soft reggae with a French influence. We drop Julian off and head back to our chateau. It's late. We lie in bed atop the village -- with the faint sounds of Nichola's reggae music and a soft breeze seeping through the open shutters. We sigh and breathe in the fresh mountain air -- and fall asleep in each other's arms -- fully content!

Mon. June 19

Our last day in Montaigut. The weather was supposed to change today -- stormy -- but it is not, still hot and sunny, a lovely gentle breeze. Julian sleeps till noon, tired after a late night. We awaken to the ringing of the church bell at 7 a.m. and go for an early morning stroll through the meadows. Reading, writing journals, leisurely lunch, siestas. More post cards sent to my son in San Francisco. We miss him and Jennifer. Phone calls to finalize hotel arrangements at the Airport in Paris -- Charles de Gaulle, car drop off, calls to my son Jonathan, in Bosnia. He will be able to pick me up at the Zagreb airport in two days. Excitement at the thought of seeing him. But enjoying our last days here.

One last dinner with Paul and Babette -- and then goodbye kisses and heart felt hugs – à la prochaine -- until we meet again!

Mille bises - a thousand kisses. Some tears, some smiles.

Tomorrow morning we leave Montaigut-le-Blanc -- yet another time -- and a 7 hour drive back to Paris -- to our airport hotel -- a different world -- the bridge that links our paradise in France to our paradise back home. Gerald will fly back to Canada and back to his studio to some necessary art time. He talked about new art ideas here in France. Julian will fly off to Ireland to visit friends he met in France -- then off on a two month back packing journey through Italy & Eastern Europe ending up in Bosnia to visit his older brother, Jonathan. I will fly to Bosnia to visit Jonathan for a couple of weeks.
The end ... and the beginning for all of us.

Finishing my journal -- in the book given to me as a Bon Voyage gift by my friend back in Canada, I recall her words --

when she saw this book, she felt compelled to get it for me because of the quote. I once again glance at the cover.

On the cover, a quote by Nietzsche:


               “One still must have chaos in oneself
                         to be able to give birth
                          To a dancing star.” 2

My life has been full of chaos, wonderful and rich with good friends and family.

As we stand out on our airport hotel balcony, just before our last French “goodnight” - “bonne nuit”, we catch a glimpse of a shooting star, dancing across the French skies. 

( 2   from Thus Spoke Zarathustra )





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